Coaching Report: December 2021

Curated by: The IOC Team

  • As we enter the final month of the year, we may find ourselves gathering with colleagues, friends, and family to celebrate the year’s end and the holiday season.

    Gathering or, more specifically, entering more fully into connection with others, is an underlying theme this month at the Institute. Our webinars, LinkedIn Live, and book club events address topics of self-actualization, decision making, and impact. At face value, these topics may seem individualistic – after all, they are issues that are hidden from view, buried deep inside the separate and independent self. Believing that one must deal with these issues alone may create paralyzing feelings of isolation. But a deeper look reveals that these challenges relate to our interdependence – our development as humans is always interwoven with authentic connection to others. More importantly, it is within a space of empathic connection that the work of deep personal growth can happen.

    As a coach, how would you rate your connection with the people you coach? Are they growth-fostering relationships? According to Relational-Cultural Theory, in a growth-fostering relationship both people are open to being influenced and changed by the other (Jordan, 2017). In this paradigm, coaches do not simply impose change on the person being coached; rather, coaches engage in a power-balanced partnership characterized by mutuality.

    As Judith Jordan explains, “mutual relationships are not necessarily totally symmetrical or equal, but there is a mutual investment in the well-being of each other and of the relationship” (2017, p. 235). One essential element is empathy--being in an experience together where each is moved by the other. With mutual empathy, both parties feel that they matter, that they have impact on each other.

    How do you know if your relationships are mutual? They lead to five good things:

    1. Zest – energy, vitality
    2. Creativity – increased sense of ability to act
    3. Worth – greater sense of self worth
    4. Clarity - more accurate self-awareness
    5. Desire for more connections

    And there is more good news. Periods of disconnection are normal, and reparations can strengthen and deepen relationships. Misunderstandings and inattentiveness may create acute periods of disconnection that are unavoidable, but they also signal that something in the relationship needs attention. What matters most is how we respond – that we address the dynamic in a way that communicates how much the other person matters. Repairing disconnection leads to a more resilient relationship.

    The bottom line: we grow and flourish in connection and gathering together during the holidays provides an opportunity to celebrate both. We at the IOC wish you and your loved ones a healthy, relaxing and joyous holiday season.


    Reference:

    Jordan, J. V. (2017). Relational–cultural theory: The power of connection to transform our lives. The Journal of Humanistic Counseling, 56(3), 228-243. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/johc.12055

  • Scott Barry Kaufman will present his research on self-actualization, revising Maslow’s famous “hierarchy of needs” for the 21st century. He will argue that the revised hierarchy of needs provides a useful framework for what he calls “self-actualization coaching.” He will review each of the needs and discuss how a deep integration of them all is necessary for becoming a whole person and experiencing transcendence in one’s daily life.   Scott's Books:...

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  • In this 1 hour session, Lana Jelenjev, chairperson of the Neurodiversity Foundation will give an introduction on neurodiversity and the importance of shifting perspectives from disorders to divergence. "Neurodiversity" accounts for the range of differences in individual brain function and behavioral traits.  It has been reported that up to 17 percent of the population have been diagnosed with a neurodivergent condition....

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  • Wednesday, December 15, 2021 - 12:00pm to 12:30pm

    Join us for our next CoachXConversation when Jeffrey Hull, PdD, Director of Global Business Development, will speak with psychologist and author, Scott Barry Kaufman about his recent book, Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization in relati

Director's Corner

  • As we enter the final month of the year, we may find ourselves gathering with colleagues, friends, and family to celebrate the year’s end and the holiday season.

    Gathering or, more specifically, entering more fully into connection with others, is an underlying theme this month at the Institute. Our webinars, LinkedIn Live, and book club events address topics of self-actualization, decision making, and impact. At face value, these topics may seem individualistic – after all, they are issues that are hidden from view, buried deep inside the separate and independent self. Believing that one must deal with these issues alone may create paralyzing feelings of isolation. But a deeper look reveals that these challenges relate to our interdependence – our development as humans is always interwoven with authentic connection to others. More importantly, it is within a space of empathic connection that the work of deep personal growth can happen.

    As a coach, how would you rate your connection with the people you coach? Are they growth-fostering relationships? According to Relational-Cultural Theory, in a growth-fostering relationship both people are open to being influenced and changed by the other (Jordan, 2017). In this paradigm, coaches do not simply impose change on the person being coached; rather, coaches engage in a power-balanced partnership characterized by mutuality.

    As Judith Jordan explains, “mutual relationships are not necessarily totally symmetrical or equal, but there is a mutual investment in the well-being of each other and of the relationship” (2017, p. 235). One essential element is empathy--being in an experience together where each is moved by the other. With mutual empathy, both parties feel that they matter, that they have impact on each other.

    How do you know if your relationships are mutual? They lead to five good things:

    1. Zest – energy, vitality
    2. Creativity – increased sense of ability to act
    3. Worth – greater sense of self worth
    4. Clarity - more accurate self-awareness
    5. Desire for more connections

    And there is more good news. Periods of disconnection are normal, and reparations can strengthen and deepen relationships. Misunderstandings and inattentiveness may create acute periods of disconnection that are unavoidable, but they also signal that something in the relationship needs attention. What matters most is how we respond – that we address the dynamic in a way that communicates how much the other person matters. Repairing disconnection leads to a more resilient relationship.

    The bottom line: we grow and flourish in connection and gathering together during the holidays provides an opportunity to celebrate both. We at the IOC wish you and your loved ones a healthy, relaxing and joyous holiday season.


    Reference:

    Jordan, J. V. (2017). Relational–cultural theory: The power of connection to transform our lives. The Journal of Humanistic Counseling, 56(3), 228-243. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/johc.12055

Webinars

Featured Research

Videos

  • Scott Barry Kaufman will present his research on self-actualization, revising Maslow’s famous “hierarchy of needs” for the 21st century. He will argue that the revised hierarchy of needs provides a useful framework for what he calls “self-actualization coaching.” He will review each of the needs and discuss how a deep integration of them all is necessary for becoming a whole person and experiencing transcendence in one’s daily life.   Scott's Books:...

    Share
    /
  • In this 1 hour session, Lana Jelenjev, chairperson of the Neurodiversity Foundation will give an introduction on neurodiversity and the importance of shifting perspectives from disorders to divergence. "Neurodiversity" accounts for the range of differences in individual brain function and behavioral traits.  It has been reported that up to 17 percent of the population have been diagnosed with a neurodivergent condition....

    Share
    /

Books

News & Events

  • Wednesday, December 15, 2021 - 12:00pm to 12:30pm

    Join us for our next CoachXConversation when Jeffrey Hull, PdD, Director of Global Business Development, will speak with psychologist and author, Scott Barry Kaufman about his recent book, Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization in relati

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